RR (Rapid Review) of RRR

I know I have joined the party late. Very very late. And yet, once I watched it, I couldn't help but make a list of the most over the top things in this movie. Because, there are two ways of enjoying movies - especially South Indian movies. If they are made in a certain way, say realistic, you laugh with the movie. If they are made in the opposite way, that is, by defying the laws of physics, then you laugh at the movie. And as we all know, RRR is the most physics defying movie in recent times, so there is plenty to laugh at. Which is my way of enjoying some of these movies.

So here is the list, with each item more incredulous than the other, and you decide which is the best. Or worst. Or. haha. There is no logic. Just take your pick.

·         One hero flattening an entire chaur full of a mob to get at his target.

·         The other hero wrestling a tiger as big as a room, and winning, and then saying to the tiger - sorry bhai.

·         The two heroes connecting as if by telepathy in the midst of a chaotic crisis, about a rescue mission.

·         One hero finds a horse to ride, the other finds a motorcycle. Forget it, that's standard Bollywood fare.

·         The two heroes suspending themselves in mid-air with a single rope hanging from a bridge to rescue a child engulfed in fire in the midst of a river where a train got derailed and a burning tanker fell.

·         The audacity of this scene where the point is the first meeting and magical bonding of the heroes rather than the derailed train. Let us remember here that a train got derailed on top of a bridge, a tanker full of burning fuel fell into the river, and more tankers are proceeding to fall into it and create perhaps the biggest environmental mess of that era. But what are we looking at? We are looking at how the two heroes perform acrobatics in the middle of the river, and then shake hands and burst into a song - a gentle, sublime melody, and proceed to cavort and generally have lots of fun together - like eat delicious food and carry each other on their shoulders.

This scene took me back to a review by Abhimanyu Dixit, where he defines this movie as a romantic story between two macho men, and this particular scene as the serendipitous meeting that happens in most formulaic romances. I cannot help but agree, so I will direct you to this brilliant review here and go back to listing the over the top moments. So the heroes bond like romantic leads because they both agree on a plan to rescue a child in distress, amidst chaos.

·         Let's go back to the two heroes meeting mid-air amidst raging flames, passing the child to and fro mid-air to rescue him. The mid-air acrobatics was perhaps copied by Pathaan. But, these two guys, who, to be honest, are not on top of my list of attractive South Indian male leads (and you are free to disagree) are somehow more attractive to watch than SRK and Deepika. And that's saying something coz I would rather watch SRK and I would rather watch Deepika, separately, than I would watch any other Indian actor. The fact that the mid-air scene in RRR is more effective perhaps has to do with how well it is executed. The raging fire, the boiling water, the building tension – of whether or not they will manage to rescue the child before fire burns him and the rope they are hanging by gets worn out, and perhaps more importantly, their pulsating bond that you feel across the screen, is all extremely well done. And maybe the brilliant music has a role. The song Dosti is lovely.

·         The daughter of the British governor is going on a ride. Alone. And the road is conveniently and picturesquely deserted. When her tire punctures, she conveniently asks the two men loitering around for help. And, wait for it, she asks this unknown, bearded, man, who does not even speak English, to give her a ride. And that's how they land up in the market. I know this is standard Bollywood fare, but somehow, it is incredulous. And then, she invites him to a party. The same night.

·         I am going to skip the plot (I am assuming you have watched the movie) and simply list the over the top moments. The next one comes when one hero (it is time to start naming them. This one is Bheem) breaks into the compound of the British governor in what looks like a runaway lorry. But no, it is not a runaway lorry. It is a carefully arranged vehicle, stacked with the wildest animals your wildest imagination can conjure up, to land up in a governor's courtyard. Tigers and cheetahs mostly. And other horned quadrupeds that I do not see the purpose of. If Bheema wants to scare the people, then you go for tigers, dude, not some harmless vegetarian animals that will bolt at the sight of humans. So anyways, the scene when the doors of the lorry open and al cages burst open at the same time, and all the tigers, cheetahs, and random quadrupeds of all sizes, jump out in sync, with a furious Bheema in the midst holding flames on both hands, I will laugh about that for ages.

·         But, wait for it. Even more incredulous than the animals and humans bursting out in sync to rampage over the governor's party is the fact that the governor's daughter, Jenny, is still awed by Bheema and helps him out – first she looks sad and shocked while he is being punished, and then she stands around and does nothing while he attacks her family, and finally, she even helps him by giving him directions to the location of Ram in prison. And she will still be on his side even after Bheema slaughters her father and mother towards the end of the story - they are shown hugging in the end. This unrealistic portrayal of the romantic interest is perhaps the most incredulous thing in the movie, over and above the display of male machismo throughout. If a man let tigers into your courtyard, and proceeded to kill your father and mother, I don't think you would like him very much, would you? But Jenny likes Bheema. Or maybe if you hated your parents, and all the guests at the party, you would like Bheema. That is possible, but it is not established in the movie.

·         That the other hero, Ram, is destined to die in a few hours due to snakebite, but recovers enough, in just a couple of hours, to come back and uproot marble balustrades to hit Bheema with.

·         All the machismo that the two display in the fight scenes, we will pass over as standard Bollywood fare. Also, more standard Bollywood fare, is two men flattening dozens of people in many different scenes, and Bheema and his party running into Ram's fiancée, she helping them out of compassion, and then spouting forth her entire life story and love story to complete strangers.

·         And now we will come to the part where I fell out of love with the movie. I mean, I was enjoying the over the topness, as one can and does by suspending disbelief when watching masala Indian fare. But then, the movie started glorifying many different types of violence. First of all, the glorification of a violent mob that goes out of control and squashes all British officers after they are roused by a singing Bheema. Then we come into the backstory of Ram, ad here we see – the glorification of child soldiers and suicide bombers both in the name of freedom fighting. I found that icky and cringe-y. The laughter certainly died from my lips, this is nothing to laugh at. And I don't think anyone should be justifying child killers or suicide killers, even if it was in the past or if it was imaginary.

·         This brings me to another point about the movie that I dislike – the ham-fisted way in which the British versus desis struggle is shown, and the heroics that the Indians display. The bravado seems vastly exaggerated. But, hey, that's the whole premise of this movie – entertainment by vast exaggeration of male machismo, so any complaint is moot. I will rest this point here.

·         Finally we come towards the end of the movie where the movie outdoes itself in is over-the-top-ness and where I couldn't stop laughing for hours. Let us pass over the standard Bollywood fare where Ram is thrown into jail, fed only once a week, but still continues to exercise and maintain his strength, so is thrown into solitary confinement. I was just surprised he didn't break out of jail by bending the iron bars. Hahaha. Perhaps to give Bheema a chance to rescue him. How convenient that the solitary confinement cells have a trapdoor on top through which the two loverboys can communicate, and Bheema rescues him, pronto, by uprooting the iron trapdoor bare handed. Haha.

·         So then, the proceed to decimate everything and everyone in sight, with Bheema carrying Ram on his shoulders – because Ram has been in solitary confinement and his knees are injured because of the cramped cell. But then, one man on top of the other, they manage several flying stunts, flying from one bar to another, and down from a lookout post to the ground, like they really got wings.

·         But even the gravity-defying flights do not beat what comes next. Bheema and Ram flee to the jungle, pursued hotly by the governor's men. Bheema makes Ram lie down and rest, and gives him some herbal juices to drink and puts some herbal salve on his knee. He notices that Ram's clothes are in tatters. So what does he do? He goes to a nearby temple and takes down the orange flag – s0 far so good – and espies a larger-than-life statue of Ram carrying a bow and arrows. He smiles in comprehension.

And guess what? Next, we see Ram, our Ram, dressed up in a dhoti like the mythical Ram, and carrying bows and arrows. Now, we know the dhoti came from the orange flag that Bheema tore out from the temple, and where did the maroon outer-cloth draped around the hips come from? And where did the bow and arrows come from? The statue seemed to be either metal or stone, there was no way Ram borrowed the statue's weapons, because his are wooden. So Bheema just…. Fashioned a bow and arrow in moments, jugadu style, and they were enough to defeat Scott's entire force? Like, Bheema had time to sharpen not just one but a thousand arrows? And while I am wondering what happened to logic and how I thought the era of absurd plots – where the hero is suddenly equipped with everything he needs and emerges at the nick of time to save the world – was over, and that we would have more sensible cinema in future, Ram emerges from the forest fire in a blast of song,

Ramam – Ranadheeram

And my mouth remains open in an O. Because either you enjoy the movie by suspending your disbelief, or doubt and turn away. And the spectacle of the music and the visuals do not allow you to turn away. This is certainly not the time to bring up the fact that Ram's knees were badly injured and bleeding because he had been unable to even flex his legs in the solitary confinement cell, where he had been for god knows how long!

·         And three days later I am still fixated on those dhoti pants.

• A dhoti is draped from a long rectangular piece of cloth, but the temple flag was triangular. Or wasn't it? Was it square? Square is still not the right shape, bro.

• Talking about length, the temple flag is simply not long enough to drape around two legs, myan.

• I call it dhoti pants and not dhoti because it fits perfectly and looks tailored. But how does a tribal man without any apparent tailoring or even draping skills, fashion those pants to fit so perfectly like they are tailored on?

• And once again, where did that maroon hip-drape come from?