Reflections on Rtu Vidya - blood and other sticky things

I encountered Sinu Joseph and her work for the first time when my friend Gatha Rijal sent two links of her talks – one a TED talk, no less. Then I remembered Gatha talking about her work before. Anyhow, I decided to go with the short TED talk first – before deciding if I was interested enough to deep dive into the other video, which was over an hour long.

Let us just say that I was blown away by her talk. Let me tell you why.

She talked about things and feelings that I had been struggling to articulate, about menstruation and femininity. I felt like, finally, we have someone who is talking about menstruation in the right way. Let me share below, in bullet points, the things I liked about her talk.

Menstruation is not just about hygiene

Sinu begins her talk by criticizing the current focus on menstrual products when it comes to menstruation. We are currently seeing this all over Nepal as well – a focus on distributing menstrual products is the only thing that many menstruation focused projects do. It is necessary, of course, and a good start too, because we all need better menstruation products, and better communication about menstrual hygiene which usually comes with the product distribution. However, distributing products is not adequate to deal with all the issues that menstruation brings to adolescent girls. I remember being painfully shy to the extent of not being able to communicate about menstruation, my need for pads, the stains on my clothes, or anything else, even with my mother, sister, and other close females. I think, apart from making menstruation products available, there also needs to be open communication about menstruation, hygiene, the flowering of reproductive abilities, the segregation and restrictions that comes with menstruation. There needs to be a space for adolescents to talk and to learn and say things and share their experiences without shame.

Joseph has very rightly said that menstruation is not just about hygiene and the distribution of menstrual products. That is just the tip of the iceberg. We have a long, long, way to go before menstruation becomes a comfortable experience for adolescents.

But first, let us talk about the menstrual products themselves.

Radha Paudel, in her book about menstruation, talks about how women use old cotton cloths during menstruation, something which Sinu praises in her book as a good thing.

Maybe Sinu is right in some ways – cotton is of course better for the women's body as well as for the environment, than plastic-infused pads which are bad for the body as well as for the environment. Still, I cannot blame women for seeking the comfort and labor-saving ways of modern pads. But the real problem of cotton cloth is not the repetitive labor in washing it, according to Radha Paudel.

The real problem is the fact that women share these cloths with each other – I myself remember using cotton cloths of dubious origin and usage as an adolescent. Again, my painful shyness kept me from asking my mother for the money to go and buy stayfree (the only brand I knew of then), or even from going to a medical shop with some money I had and buying it on my own. I can imagine the problem is much worse everywhere for adolescent girls who are using cloths of dubious history. Like Radha Paudel has portrayed, and like we all know, it is still a stigma to hang these cloths out to dry in open display, so the cloths end up being dried in some sunless-corner which do not strike the eyes, and might end up damp and thus very very harmful. I don't know what the rural women that Sinu interviewed have been doing, but as someone who is familiar with these practices, I welcome girls' and women' access to better products if they wish to have them. It is nowhere near adequate, but it is a good start.

And then, the loosening of all the stigma around menstruation which will help adolescent girls talk about menstruation, that is another great iceberg that we will come to soon.

Joseph ends this section by saying that all this research and data being paraded about – which says that adolescent girls drop out of school or miss 4 days of school a month due to menstruation is false, and that adolescent boys miss school more, is a bit of a shocker. Maybe she is right, I don't know if we even have data to compare here in Nepal, because the activists are so focused on girls missing school due to menstruation, which is again invariably tied to their lack of access to menstrual products. I don't know what to say about this, perhaps another example of activists being selective with the data they present, to suit their needs. Whatever it is, I don't think that kind of messaging is necessarily bad, if it makes better hygiene products available to adolescent girls.

However, I still agree with Sinu that hygiene and menstrual products are only the tip of the iceberg, and distribution of menstrual products is not the end of the story.

Menstruation indicates your entire well being

Sinu says that menstruation is not just blood that occurs and then disappears once a month. It indicates our entire well being. This is a very simple concept that we are all familiar with. For example, don't we all know how stress can impact menstruation? That if we are physically/mentally/emotionally stressed, our periods can come early or late. That certain foods impact menstruation – I remember my cousin telling me that when she and her aunts had too many mangoes (they owned a mango orchard), they all had periods up to two weeks early. Another cousin once said that when she was in a very stressful job where she was travelling frequently, she was getting her periods only once in 2-3 months, and was worried about early menopause. I have also heard stories, real-life accounts, of women's periods not occurring for months together, or simply disappearing forever, in stressful situations like wars or spaces like brainwashing religious cults (although I have not heard of this in real life, maybe we can find such examples if we start asking).

I am sure, if you ask, each and every woman has something like this to share – when something unusual impacted her periods. It is common knowledge that stress impacts periods – and so it follows that regular menstruation are actually an indicator of overall good health – mental, physical, and emotional. If there is some disturbance in our periods, we should not take it as a purely physical issue. We should take it as an indicator and think of what mental, emotional or spiritual issues could be impacting it.

I also have my own detailed personal experience to share again, which again, I am sure every woman has some variety of.

A personal anecdote

I remember, at the age of 33 (I remember the age distinctly because when I went to the doctor, the receptionist wrote my marital status as 'married', and I assumed it was because my age was 33, and it had left me incensed.) So anyways, at the age of 33, I started noticing that in the middle of my menstrual cycle, let's say around day 15 or 20, I would experience symptoms of intense PMS – heightened emotions, anger, tears, fatigue. I noted this for a few months. This seems like PMS – I noted to myself. And then again I noted that it couldn't be PMS because my periods came regularly around day 28-30. So am I now having two PMS every month? Or am I having two weeks of PMS? I wondered. I thought I was getting old and PMS was getting stronger and longer with age. I even wondered if I was just going mad – attributing all emotions to PMS, when PMS should not be occurring on day 15-20.

But then, something happened which proved to me that I wasn't going mad. One month, on day 16, I saw fresh blood on my underwear. Ok, my period came 14 days early, I thought, and put on a menstrual cup. But then, there was no more blood after that one spot of bright red. I puzzled over this. And it happened again the next month – drops of fresh blood in the middle of the cycle, followed by 10-15 days of nothing, and a regular period on day 28-30. Then I knew that I wasn't mad – I was having two periods in a month, and I was having two PMS in a month.

Before I saw the blood, it hadn't occurred to me to see a doctor over the seemingly irrational idea that I was having two PMS in a month. But the blood was something tangible – and it scared me – so I sought medical help. The first doctor (where the (male) receptionist wrote 'married') was less helpful than zero – first she had a hard time understanding that I was having two periods in a month, and I had to give a long and detailed explanation before she even comprehended that such a thing is possible. And her answer? "It's because your ovaries are small, when you get married it will be ok." Huh? Then she again explained that a conception will expand my womb and such problems won't occur again. I wanted to throw the file at her and walk out. Looking back, I think her medical license should be canceled – for the kind of nonsense she was doling out. Imagine what she would have said if I had gone to her before I had seen the blood, and just said I am having two PMS a month. Haha.

Anyway, the second doctor was slightly better. She was friendly, she listened to my problem, acknowledged my issues, and told me that it is a hormonal issue that you can do nothing about. Drink water, exercise, that's the only thing to be done – unless you want hormonal treatment, she said, and I did not. She was a good doctor, and gave me good tips which have been useful – drink water, remember to keep your body active. However, looking back, when I put my experience in Sinu's perspective, it's clear that my menstrual health was indicating that something was wrong with me. The doctor only diagnosed my body – I wish she had had enough wisdom to ask me to examine other areas of my life – mental, emotional – where the answers could be found. That was a period of intense stress for me, unlike anything before, and now I am sure that the stress was manifesting in these ways for me.

So yes, I agree with Sinu – as I think most women will, that menstruation is not just blood that comes and goes. The regularity of periods indicates good mental, emotional, spiritual health as well. The most common factor here would be stress – which plays havoc with our hormones – and which in turn tampers with the delicate balance of hormones required for periods. So yes, if we are having problems with our periods, then I think it would be helpful to examine not just our physical health, but also mental, emotional, and spiritual areas.

The entire menstruation cycle is a gift

Now this is the part which resonated with me the most.

Menstruation is not just something that happens once a month, something that you dread, tolerate, and forget. It is an entire way of life. This is something that I have been trying to articulate for a long time – what it actually means to be a woman (at the risk of sounding un-inclusive, I am going to use the word woman to mean cis-gender women who menstruate). And I was glad to encounter these ideas in Sinu's work. Even Sinu doesn’t totally articulate it, but she does a great job of unsticking menstruation from the concept of hygiene and placing it in the entire context of a woman's physical, mental, emotional, spiritual well-being. Let us start with physical health.

The whole discourse on menstruation is on suppressing menstruation – Sinu says. And I couldn’t agree more. How many advertisements have we seen, of menstrual pads, which all show that women can do anything when they are menstruating. There was this very funny comic of a woman doing extremely physical things like jumping around, handstands, etc, and looking more and more maniacal as she did so. I cannot find it at the moment. It also reminds me of an Indian ad – with young women in extremely short, frilly pink minis serving tables and bending forwards to show as much leg as they could – as proof that with this particular product, women can do anything on their periods.

The suppression of menstruation encouraged today

But the question is – why should they? Why should they do everything during periods? That is not how nature made women. The question is – why should women act as if menstruation is not occurring? The answer is that this capitalistic world is built around the male body and the male rhythm – where men are in the same physical state every single day. And where anyone (read women) who do not perform at par are deemed less capable. When in fact, women have a different rhythm. Nature made us to rest and do only light physical activities during menstruation. The pressure that capitalism puts on us – the pressure of performing at par every day – at par with men who run on a 24 hours cycle, as opposed to women who operate on a 28-day cycle, is great. And it is harming women. Suppressing menstruation is harming women. It is like suppressing something natural, deep, and essential, like hunger or the need for connections.

Today, menstruation is seen as something of an impediment – something women have to endure, tolerate, and suppress as much as possible – so that they can perform like men. And I find that very, very sad. That women not only have to go through menstruation, but they also have to make every effort to pretend that they are not going through it. Because menstruation is not a curse that women have to bear. It is a gift.

Perhaps, at some point, as an adolescent, I believed that menstruation is a curse – something extra that women have to bear which reduces their capabilities. But the more I think of women's place in the world, or the place of the female in nature, the more I believe that it is a gift.

Let us hear about the gifts from Sinu, because I have so much trouble articulating it.

The first gift is something we all know – menstruation is the precursor to creation. Without menstruation, there can be no creation. But then, that is not the only thing that menstruation does. We have already talked of how menstruation is an indicator of a woman's overall health and well-being.

The different phases of menstrual cycle

But not just that, each phase of the menstrual cycle is different, and brings with it different gifts. First of all, menstruation itself brings the opportunity to rest (if the woman is lucky). This is a time to reset life and start everything over. The nesting instinct is well documented – more intensely in pregnant women, but also in menstruating women. Nesting instinct is when you declutter your life, your home, make detailed plans, and get ready for a new beginning. Many women experience this every month, just before the period begins. But we ignore it, or fail to see the larger trends month after month, because we are not taught to tune in to our bodies.

Personally, in my second pregnancy, as the period date was drawing nearer, let's say after day 25, I felt an intense urge to clean up and declutter – I spent days cleaning up my room, throwing out unnecessary stuff – before finally realizing that this was not even the regular nesting instinct – this is the real thing, a baby was coming up. I just googled it and found that mostly nesting instinct takes over in the later stages of pregnancy and that while hormones are a factor, the social and psychological factors also play a role in this. My experience says otherwise. Maybe the nesting instinct will rise as the due date nears, but I cannot forget the intensity, almost violence, of the nesting instinct which struck me at the very beginning of my pregnancy. And when I look back, the nesting instinct has been with me since my first pregnancy - since I tried to clean up my whole house and prepare it for my first child. Ideas just bloomed in my head - what stuff to throw out, which space to empty so that the child can play freely, where to sleep, where to eat, etc. So yes, every pregnancy gives women a heightened vision about space, and a general clarity of purpose in life.

I am sure social and psychological factors play a role in the fact that women do most of this preparation, but let us not forget that women's hormones play the biggest role in this phenomenon. I have also heard that men who are intimate with the women in their lives may feel similar feelings – up to the point of men getting blotches on their cheeks along with their wives in later stages of pregnancy . Again, let us not forget that it is the pregnant woman who is the source of these feelings – and men imbibe and reflect them, and sometimes observe and learn from them.

Biology versus sociology

I am trying to unpack an old debate here – whether or not these roles of women are biological. And acknowledging that all these roles come to women naturally through their hormones has been disastrous for women in the past – with women being relegated to household roles, secondary positions in society, while men get to take the primary position and all the non-householdy, interesting, and adventurous roles in society. This is bad and dangerous, and something I and many women have fought all our lives. However, not acknowledging women's primacy in creation is equally bad and dangerous for the entire humanity. The way I see it, the solution is acknowledging that women have these thoughts which inspire them to see what's best for their children and everyone, and not to have women execute everything, but to give her enough resources – in the form of help from the menfolk, and/or money which will help her hire the help she needs, so that women can lead and still do everything, all the non-householdy stuff that they want to do. The conclusion for me is that women are meant to see and lead, not necessarily execute everything to the point of exhaustion.

Anyways, this was about pregnancy and the nesting instinct, which Sinu doesn’t really go into. Let us talk about the nesting instinct that Sinu does get into. Some form of this nesting instinct occurs every month for most women, just before menstruation. Again, many of us don’t notice it because we are not taught to tune in to our bodies, accumulated knowledge about such phenomena from women's collectives is either lost or waning. However, if we are to do a little research on it, we will find that the monthly nesting instinct is also well documented. Certainly, I have noticed it after my mid twenties – though I do not have memory of it before, probably because I was not taught to notice it. So every month, just before period starts – women start tying up the threads – what is working in life, what is not working, what needs to go to keep the space and mind – clean, what needs to end to make space for a fresh start, how to make a fresh start...

The next phase, of course, is menstruation itself. When women are meant to rest, do light physical activity just to keep their limbs active, mull over the insights that came to them, and take steps to make a fresh start. So every menstruation is a mini creation cycle which gives the opportunity to start over. The words Sinu uses for it are something like – menstruation is a natural detox process offered to women by nature, which cleanses the body of ama (the buildup of toxic things including unhealthy food and unhealthy thoughts and energy), which includes mental, emotional, and spiritual stress.

Male literature has worded it this way – it is said that after every menstruation a woman become a virgin. (I think where this comes from is that most women bleed after their first intercourse and men being men, they don't know the difference between menstruation and hymen breaking, haha, so they think bleeding is a natural result of sexual intercourse. Add the old ideas of a woman's system cleansing itself after menstruation, and there you go – bleeding cleanses women of all previous sexual activity, haha. Men don't care about other types of cleansing and renewal that Sinu talks about - the mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, spatial, etc - they only care about the sexual.). This is just my theory though, although this idea of women regaining virginity after menstruation is frequently thrown about in old Hindu texts, in stories of women like Draupadi and Madhavi who were intimate with multiple men, and also randomly. Too bad the idea didn't stick around, or women wouldn't have to suffer so much from the pressure of sexual 'purity'.

Menstruation – a fresh start

So, back to the menstruation cycle. Women rest, declutter, and plan for a fresh start during menstruation. After that comes the ovulation phase. The fertile phase is well documented in Hindu texts – intercourse on days 4-16 (might vary but this is the average) of the menstrual cycle are recommended, if you want children. This has also been proven by modern western science. A woman is the most fertile on 1-3 days that might lie any time between days 4-16 for different women. Sinu also says that women get a glow on their skin at this phase because of the clearing of all the toxins – haven't we all noticed the pimples that come during PMS and go away during menstruation? And this ovulating woman is a legend in contemporary western literature – there are all kinds of myths about her – that she is more likely to wear red because her hormones prompt her to look her sexy best, that she smells more attractive at this time due to her prolific pheromones, that she is likely to be attracted to a manly looking hunk at this time with tall, muscular body and stronger jaw who can give her the best seed (as opposed to other phases like menstruation when she is looking for care and partnerships and chooses softer, more feminine faces, haha).

This is also the phase when women have high physical energy, and thus is ideal for physical

activities, challenges, and anything requiring energy.

After the ovulation phase, there is the luteal phase when the hormones deplete, the ovaries realize that there is going to be no seed at this time, and most women experience PMS. Again, this is seen as a curse by many women, including me. However, sometimes, I have also felt that it is a blessing – not the fatigue that comes with it, but the thoughts – the extreme thoughts, the insights, which show you things and patterns that you don't see on regular days. I remember writing a poem about this a long time ago – about how PMS shows me extreme thoughts which are so helpful in writing poetry or any kind of creative expressions – and how men will never experience it no matter what. I cannot find the poem at the moment – buried somewhere in my blog. And I was delighted to find the idea in Sinu's work – why don't we accept these thoughts? She says. In earlier times, such women, or women at such times, were seen as wise seers. Why can't we do the same now? Why can't we embrace these thoughts and appreciate the extra perspectives they show us? I wish we could do that. I wish there were healthy outlets for PMS thoughts. Instead of comparing this phase to men who feel the same every day and saying that 'women go wild before menstruation,' why don't we accept that women are different from men, and that every month, there is a time when their mental/emotional/spiritual state is elevated?

And at the end of the luteal phase, again, the nesting instinct strikes, and the cycle starts over again.

The point of describing all these phases of the menstrual cycle is that today, women are not attuned to these phases. Today, we are expected to behave the same every day, like men and their 24-hour cycles. Not only do individual women suffer from having to suppress all these things that they receive from nature, but entire humanity suffers when women are disconnected from their intuition. And what is the alternative?

Women – nature's calendar

We have some documentation to show that ancient societies revolved around women's bodies. The novel The Red Tent comes to mind, but there are many anthropological studies too. In ancient times, societies revolved their functions around women's bodies – which are natural calendars. During menstruation, the whole human world came to a halt, allowing women to gather and rest. In the ovulating phase, people resumed their lives, took up physical activities, and copulated. In the luteal/PMS phase, again, life was as usual, women collected their thoughts and analyzed their insights. As nesting instinct struck, women tied up threads, cleaned up their lives and spaces, and prepared for a fresh start. Again, menstruation gave them an opportunity for a fresh start.

Not just timelines and activities, but spaces were also built around women's collectives. This was a time when women lived together at the center of human settlements, and men lived on the peripheries – with separate spaces for women to menstruate peacefully. This included separate spaces for childbirth, child raising, and other activities.

There were a couple of things in ancient societies which made such practices viable. We are talking of a time before the invention of marriage and private property - a time that patriarchy has erased even memories of in most societies. One thing is that women lived collectively – so that all this knowledge which seems alien to women today – for example the knowledge of nesting instinct or of luteal phase and its special insights – were common knowledge. This was when men and women were not expected to live out their lives as partners, but met sporadically and had intercourse with multiple partners, for pleasure or conception. This enabled women to live collectively at the center of life – the center being acting as calendars, nurturing pregnant women and children, and being leaders and decision makers about what is the best for their community. Such collectivity gave women the agency to give priority to their bodies and act accordingly – a power which is lost in the patriarchal world which parcels women off to individual men who then suppress female power with male social dominance. Crucially, this role did not limit women from anything – apart from the menstruating days when they rested, they actively pursued any other activity they wanted to.

Not just women, but entire societies revolved around this menstrual cycle, because, when a large number of women live together – their periods tend to sync, something that Sinu does not mention, I don't know why, but which also has been widely documented even in modern times. So it is not like one woman is menstruating and her partner halts activities – like today, but that when all women are menstruating, all non-essential human activities pause. Sure, life becomes excruciatingly slow, but then, there wasn't so much to do also, before the relentless rush of capitalism. And in the next phase, when all women are ovulating – all people do physical work and all people copulate, etc. In the luteal phase, imagine the strong power of collectivity when all women start having a nesting instinct, come together and discuss how to move forward with life, and implement those decisions – the power would be quite strong, I am sure. The power of consensus that we modern women have to claw hands and feet to organize, and still don't succeed at.

In such societies, women's menstrual cycles determined everything – from the tasks you performed (outlined above) to your mood, to the foods you eat. Ask any woman and she will tell you how food preferences change throughout the cycle – most obviously, a craving for the sour during PMS (and early phases of pregnancy), and, according to Sinu, a tradition of eating nutritious things like milk, jaggery, coconut, and other things during menstruation.

To me, this seems like the ideal, where women give the utmost priority to listening to their bodies, and societies gives priority to this knowledge. After all, this is how all of nature works. No matter if an individual plant or animal creates or not (for we have examples of LGBTIQA behavior in non-humans as well, including plants and animals), all lives revolve around the cycle of creation. The female cycle of creation, to be specific, which guides the behavior of all other sexes. It is only us humans who have gone far away from it, and are suffering from it.

The ancient social structure seems like an impossible myth today. And it is. If I see this as an ideal scenario where women do not have to suppress their bodies, and can act like nature intended them to, I also realize that this is entirely out of the question in modern times. Shall we ask the world to halt for 4 days every month so that all women can menstruate peacefully? Hahaha. First of all, women don't even menstruate in sync any more, so determining those 4 days to rest is itself an impossible task, logistically. Secondly, does this even sound like a sane, doable proposal? Hahaha. No, not even to me who finds such a world ideal. I will leave it there, because the other tasks would be even more impossible.

So, Sinu, I agree with you wholeheartedly when you describe women as nature's calendar. And then sigh in defeat as I realize that there is no way of getting that aspect of human life back. Absolutely none. Unless there is an apocalypse and the world is destroyed and has to rebuild back, when it will be done on the basis of women's bodies. And that is not even something to look forward to. Sigh.

The book

Having come across all these concepts in her talk, I started Sinu Joseph's book Rtu Vidya with high hopes. Let us just say that I was disappointed. Apart from the things I already described, which I did find in her book, there was also much to dislike in her book. But first, let me talk about a few other things that I liked in her book.

Things I liked

The celebration of menarche

There is no menarche celebration in my community. I think there used to be, but the only remnants of it are two things – seclusion after first menstruation, and a gunyu cholo ceremony which may or may not be connected with menarche, where a girl is gifted grown up clothes – sari and blouse usually in red to signify coming of age and readiness for marriage. I did not have a gunyu cholo because, according to my mother, it was not in fashion then. When I started my periods, my mother had me stay in one room for four days, and when I protested, she said, hamro jamana ma ta 11 din rakhinthyo, gham herna napaune andhyaro kotha ma. Haha. As if that is consolation. So I don't have very many happy memories of the first time menstruation happened. And it never got better. The memories of menstruation are surrounded by stigma and shame and a painful inability to acknowledge and articulate what I was going through.

So when Sinu talks about such happy celebrations of menarche, it was good to know. That at least in some parts of India, first menstruation is still celebrated in such a way that the menstruating girl feels happy, is venerated, and is taught about her budding femininity.

Sinu talks of how in South India, when a girl first menstruates, she is taken to a separate room where she is given good food, surrounded at all times by other women and girls, there are songs and dances, and she is taught about what menstruation means. I was amazed that this happens. Yes, girls deserve to be felicitated and to be taught about menstruation. Girls do not deserve to be shamed and surrounded by stigma when they start menstruating.

I am sure such rituals existed in many more communities including mine, the remnants of such practices in the form of seclusion and gunyu cholo ceremony are proof. Such ceremonies seem to be more alive in the Newa community which have several coming-of-age ceremonies for girls, some linked with menstruation and some not. However, in many communities, especially mine, the shame factor has come to overshadow all celebratory and learning aspects of menarche, which is a great shame.

The menarche celebration is not just a celebration. It is also a place for women to come together and open the doors of communication for the adolescent, which remains closed in communities that take only the seclusion aspect of it and leave out all the rest. There is much we need to take back and re-learn from menarche celebrations.

Women and sports

A few years ago, an Olympic swimmer grabbed international headlines when she said that she was suffering from intense period pain during the Olympic competition. Sinu addresses this incident, and clarifies it from her point of view.

Sinu talks about how women in intense physical sports like swimming or any other western sports often retire in their mid 30s, but that women in traditional activities like Kalaripayattu or classical dances continue to perform well into their old age. When you look at only the experience of the women in western sports, like the Olympic swimmer, the outlook is depressing – it seems to imply that women are not made for sports and physical activities after all. But when you look at the eastern activities that Sinu describes – it's again more uplifting.

Sinu justifies it by saying that women in the east rest during menstruation. (One reason for it is also that many such activities including classical dance begin by invoking gods, and women are forbidden from doing any holy/sacred activities at this time. We will get into the religious part later. But for now,) what Sinu says seems to make sense. In the era of equality between men and women, women have been brought up to push themselves through menstruation, and sometimes that might cause too much strain on the body which piles up in the long term. Ladies, we don't have to do everything all the time (although I do see that sometimes we are compelled to). If we are lucky enough to have a choice, let us listen to our bodies when we do sports, hiking, etc, and do just what we are comfortable with during menstruation and resist pushing ourselves on these days (as long as capitalism allows us to do so). I am pretty sure that is going to benefit us. Sinu has me fully convinced on this point.

The alternate description of menstrual segregation

Sinu describes such menstrual segregation as a good thing. And this brings me to something I have been thinking for a while – that menstrual segregation itself is not necessarily a bad thing. Actually, segregation is not the right word for me. The kind of segregation that we see in Nepal is not a good thing, but what would be helpful is an acknowledgement that menstruation is a special phase of life, and having different rules around it, would be a great idea.

Let us look at menstrual segregation in ancient times - a time when women did not necessarily have menstrual cloths or wear underwear to hold that cloth in place. The novel The Red Tent describes women gathering inside a tent and bleeding freely on straws. So having a separate, segregated space for women to bleed is a good idea. But limiting menstruation to hygiene is not the point. The idea is also to let women rest. And remember, most women used to bleed in sync in the past. In that case, a place where women can get together, rest, avoid strenuous physical activities, and plan the next phase of life, seems ideal. The separate segregated space also comes with the idea that menstruation is a separate, special phase in life which should not be suppressed, and which should be given its due time.

Today, I am attracted to this idea for a couple of reasons – the first is that we are supposed to pretend that menstruation is a normal day, and work like on normal days. The struggles of women who have to go and talk to their male boss about what a difficult time they are having due to menstruation, and have the boss either laugh at them or dismiss them by saying women are not as good as men, or have the boss say, in the name of feminism, that you should solve all these problems and move forward if you want to progress – I have just heard too many of these stories and they are depressing. And then, with the end of menstrual segregation and the advent of 'equality,' women are even more burdened at  home – where they are expected to continue cooking and cleaning for large joint families, and generally, perform all the required physical labor throughout menstruation, because 'men and women are equal and nowadays we don't believe in menstrual segregation any more.'

What if we did not have the shame and stigma that comes with menstruation, but the idea that women need to rest for a quarter of the month was still built into our society, as it was in the past with menstrual segregation? Also today, where are the spaces for women to gather and rest and talk? They are not built into our social structures, and you really have to work to create these spaces.

Negatives of menstrual segregation in Nepal ATM

But the problem is that, at least in Nepal and in my community, menstrual segregation does not come with any of these positive associations of rest and women's camaraderie. It comes with the following negative associations.

Women continue to do strenuous physical work during menstruation

Men, and some women, often say that the point of menstrual segregation is rest, but the rest is more often than not, not there. Yes, menstruation women are barred from two key spaces – the kitchen and the temple (the temple extending to household shrines and spaces where religious activities are performed), so some women get a break from cooking. But, most women still continue to do strenuous physical work including going to the jungle to get fodder and firewood, washing loads and loads of clothes, and many other things. If the purpose of menstrual segregation is rest, then let us rest, give us dedicated time where we are not obliged to perform any strenuous tasks.

No agency in choosing segregation space

Sinu also describes the menstrual huts in South India as ideal – made up of medicinal plants which are good for health. I don't have enough knowledge to know if that is true. But I do know that in Nepal, the menstrual spaces are not ideal. The menstruation woman is made to go and live in a small hut where they are provided no bedding – they sleep on straws on the bare floor. Maybe sleeping on the floor is ideal in South India which never sees winter season, but in the cold, snowy winters of Nepal, it is hardly preferable. And in some areas, the women are not provided separate huts – they must go and sleep in the cowshed with the animals.

Despite all this, personally, I don't think you should make too much of these physical structures – the menstrual huts. In the hills of Nepal where chhaupadi is practiced, men also live in similar huts – the pastoral men who go out to the high pastures to graze their cattle, especially sheep, in summer, build such makeshift huts where a regular person can barely stand up. Too much hullaballoo is made, especially in international media, when a girl dies in a menstrual hut. It is a very sad thing that a girl dies in a menstrual hut. However, it is only the tip of the iceberg of the problems that menstrual segregation brings.

The biggest factor in menstrual segregation here is shame, which we will go into in the next point. For now, let's talk about the physical space and ownership.

Who owns the house? Who owns the hut? Who tells women that they cannot step into this and that area of the house? Who has the right to turn women out of their own homes? It is, of course, men, and thousands of years of patriarchy which has given women no right, no say in these matters. Maybe in South India, menstrual segregation practices are still guided by women's wisdom, and the spaces are comfortable and medicinal and days are full of the company of other women and laughter and rest and learning about women's bodies and their physical and social roles. That is not so in Nepal. The practices are guided by men, men who come up and say that since this woman is bleeding, she will not be allowed to desecrate the pure spaces of the household, so she must go outside where she is will not be able to pollute anything. Somehow, this reminds me of Ramayana – where, after a conflict, Ram was able to turn Sita out of his house, not the other way around.

What if the house belonged to the woman and she could say – this is my menstrual segregation space, why don't you leave and find yourself a hut and let me rest and have some peace exactly where I am comfortable? Like I said before, segregation itself is not a bad thing, and neither are the huts themselves. It is the fact that women have no say in where to go and what to do during menstruation, and it is the men who set the rules and boundaries and limitations for menstruating women. When that happens, women face problems like having to go very far to the river to wash their clothes, having nobody to give them a drink of water, having nobody to cook and give them good food, having to dry their menstrual cloths in damp, spaces, etc. And of course, the shame - that she is continuously harassed, told she is impure and she makes other things impure, is bullied and might be beat up for polluting male spaces. What if, instead, women claimed the central and easiest spaces where they could wash, drink water, and cook, easily, and relegated men to the peripheries where they had to make extra effort during women's menstruation (if they wanted to)?

Today, spaces are built around men's lives and preferences, and women live in the peripheries in great discomfort. If spaces were built around women's lives and preferences, I am pretty sure that they would not relegate men to discomfort, but that everyone would live comfortably. Men's preferences are just that – preferences, while women's preferences (regarding menstruation) are driven by biological needs, and it is sad that they get sidelined while men get to expand their comfort more and more.

The biggest factor is shame

These are the things that women often have to hear as justification for menstrual segregation practices in Nepal.

o   Menstruation is the letting out of rotten blood that has died inside a woman.

o   Menstruation is impure.

o   The touch of a menstruating women kills plants and animals.

o   Gods are angry when touched by menstruating woman.

o   And many more.

The major point is that women are made to feel less than men, less than anyone else, because they menstruate. They are outcast from most rituals, and menstruation becomes a matter of public shame, as if it a bad thing to menstruate and a good thing to be pure like a man who never bleeds. And this, I think, is at the core of the problem.

Sinu goes on to address and justify most of these points. Most of it does not work, sadly. Sinu says that menstrual blood is neither impure nor rotten, and is full of the most life-giving force in the world. Western science has also proven that the blood is neither rotten nor impure but full of the most life-giving forces in the world. However, the idea is not prevalent enough to ride through current stigma, sadly.

Secondly, Sinu actually justifies the fact that menstruation women should not touch plants, animals, or other living things, which is ridiculous. Sinu also justifies the prohibition of women from temples and religious spaces, which is the last thing I want to hear. We will expand on all these ideas in the subsequent points.

This actually reminds me of the movement by Radha Paudel – the movement on dignified menstruation, which I have always supported and found sensible. Radha Paudel also does a good job of moving menstruation away from merely hygiene-centric ideas to the larger picture – where shame is the most prominent factor around menstruation. For example, the shame around entering religious spaces, or conducting rituals -- including important rituals like even mourning for your dear ones. Radha says that menstruation should be dignified – where women are not prevented from doing anything that they would do on regular periods. This is a double edged sword – like we already spoke of, there is the danger of women being asked to continue all kinds of physical labor during menstruation, but at the same time, I feel that if it enables women to live without shame, then it is a good thing. Negotiating work and physical roles during menstruation would be the next step.

The lack of nutrition

In Nepal, menstruation is not characterized by the eating of extra nutritious foods that Sinu describes. Instead, it is characterized by the prevention of certain nutritious foods – for example milk, yoghurt, butter, etc, which is certainly tied not to nutrition but to shame and stigma – the placing of menstruating women as sub-standard human beings who do not deserve the nutrition provided to a normal human being. The shame factor is evident when menstruating women are not allowed to eat puja ko prasad – because they are impure, obviously. But it is acceptable for them to eat the prasad if it is jutho – like if someone has bitten into it already. I would rather starve and die than face the humiliation of jutho prasad.

Especially sad for new mothers

Sinu has mentioned how menstruating spaces and rules are also used for childbirths. It is the same in Nepal. And I find nothing to celebrate about it, unlike Sinu. Maybe this worked in the past when women lived together and made comfortable spaces for each other to give birth in and take care of infant and mother in. But today, when women are relegated to dark, damp spaces, either in menstrual huts or inside cowsheds, where they lack hygiene, change of clothes, and nutritious foods, and are banned from touching water sources, I don't think this is a very good idea at all. I cannot even imagine the horror and the loneliness that new mothers go through in their husbands' homes (for in Nepal, you are forbidden to give birth in your mother's home where you might receive more care), relegated to damp spaces and not given good food. I will never ever support the kind of postpartum segregation that deprives these women of food, for example milk, yoghurt, and butter.

Segregation goes, but shame remains

Today in Nepal, there is a growing resistance to menstrual segregation, pushed by women like me. Surely, the segregation is reducing. However, it has not brought an end to these negative factors. The shame, for example, continues to haunt women. But, it has brought an end to any rest women might have had.

Again, the end of segregation is focused around hygiene – we are told that since we now wear pads and cups and do not leak blood anymore, we can go into the kitchen and cook and serve and do all the physically strenuous work that we do on other days of the month. But then, we are not to go into religious spaces, not to pollute rituals, and we are still to eat jutho prasad because – do everything but, please maintain the sanctity of the rituals, the last frontier…

In fact, it has brought about a rise in another kind of feminism where women are expected to just suppress their periods and pregnancy and work on as if nothing happened.

There is no way out for women - in the old way, women face shame and humiliation. In the new way, women are expected to be perfectly physically active on all days, as if menstruation is not occurring. We are getting the worst of both worlds, when what we want is the best of both worlds - dignity and removal of restrictions, coupled with the opportunity to rest and choose our level of physical activity, during menstruation.

Things I disliked

And this brings me to the things that I dislike about the book.

The absolute justification of all things Hindu

It seems like the point of Sinu's book is not to explain the 'science' behind menstrual practices, but the absolute justification of all things Hindu.

She justifies not only menstrual segregation which comes with the above negative points in Nepal, but also the banning of women from temples, and the specific banning from some famous temples such as Shabarimala. And I am not sure I agree with all these things.

I am with Sinu as long as she talks about how ayurveda and allopathy view women's bodies differently, how allopathy has a limited, biology-centric view, and how ayurveda and other eastern systems have a more holistic view which take women's entire mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being into account, how menstruation is a gift from nature, how it guides women and ultimately all human lives, and how we are suppressing it, and how that is a bad thing.

But after that, when she goes into breathless descriptions of some temples which align menstrual cycles and other temples which promote the growth of facial hair and more testosterone in women, I lost her. I truly lost her. This does not seem like science anymore, but belief. Sinu acknowledges this idea when she says that there is no proof, as in scientific western proof, available, so either we believe, or don't. And I suppose I don't believe her when, for example, she says that Kamakhya is the place where Sati Devi's womb fell! Because to me, Sati and Shiva are not real people, they are mythical characters. And to claim that Kamakhya is powerful because Sati Devi's womb actually fell there does not seem very scientific to me.  

The power of Kamakhya, I think lies not necessarily in the story of Shiva and Sati, but in its celebration of menstruation – and how it defies reigning patriarchal Hindu ideas about menstruation.

Let me get into a slight detour about Kamakhya - the famous temple of the goddess. Goddess Kamakhya is symbolized by a round depression in the ground from which water springs up - a symbol of the female yoni from which all life springs. Every year, there are a few days marked for the goddess' menstruation, when the temple closes and many priests put in white clothes in the water. The cloths comes back red - a sign of the goddess' menstruation. The priests take back and worship these clothes, and also sell small pieces of them for lots of money, which are in turn taken to homes of devotees and worshipped by them. Such a blatant celebration of menstruation, I think, is a link back to older, pre-patriarchal times when menstruation was celebrated as the life-giving force that it is, and now labeled a shame. I would say that, is the power of this place. That it reminds women, and men - who are the ones that need reminding - of the power of menstruation. The story of Shiva and Sati or the Pran Pratishtha of this temple - to me they are all secondary - a celebration of menstruation does not need to be justified through other stories or causes.

Furthermore, when I found that Sinu has also written another book justifying the caste structure, I felt convinced that this is not 'science' anymore, but a justification of Hindu beliefs and practices.

Justification of temple bans

Now, we don't have such strict bans around temples here in Nepal, or maybe we do and I don't know of them. But still, apart from all religious spaces which ban menstruating women, there are also some religious spaces which ban women at all times – for example some statues of Hanuman or Karthikeya that women are not allowed to see or go near. (The Newa communities speak of the god of art/dance Nasa Deo which women are not allowed to see/touch/pay respects. I don't know much about it, but it seems to me that this particular deity is related to performing arts and the fact that women were not allowed to perform music and dance in public in the past. We will leave women and the arts for now, which is a vast subject in itself, and focus on biology). Let us talk about the Hanumans and Karthikeyas, the Brahmacharis who will not look at women. I don't know much about Shabarimala, but to my knowledge the deity there, Ayyappa, is also a celibate male deity. Why do these spaces exist, and what is their role?

I have some theories which I am struggling to articulate. But I will try.

Let us look at the ancient past which had segregated spaces and rituals for women. The spaces and rituals for menstruation and childbirth that men were not allowed to enter. I speak of a time before patriarchy, a time that none of us have seen and of which there are only dim recollections to be found in old manuscripts and artefacts.

This was a time when women held a higher status in society – as the creators of life and the keepers of the mysteries of life. Women lived at the center and men lived at the peripheries. Menstrual spaces worked the other way around – it was not that women were barred from this and that space, but that men were barred from menstrual spaces – because men had no understanding and no use for this knowledge. So women conducted the main business of life.

Enter men and their ego, at a very late, recent point in human history. Men are not happy to be at the periphery of life. Men want to be at the center, men want to lead, men want to be worshipped the way menstruation was worshipped, men want to believe they are central to life and creation. They cannot do so as long as women are at the center of life, deciding things with their bodies. So they create alternate spaces where they decide things. And they ban women from entering these spaces, because they also want exclusive spaces like women. Crucially, these spaces come at the expense of women's power – they are based on the idea that women, because they menstruate, and are sexually attractive to men, are not pure enough to enter these spaces. These two ideas struggle for a long time. In our times, patriarchy has won, for a lot of reasons. Spaces like Kamakhya are remnants of old, pre-patriarchal ideas which venerated women's bodies and their roles in nature.

There are so many problems with this kind of celebration of male celibacy – first and foremost being that while women's spaces and women's segregation and women being at the centre of life is guided by biology and nature, male spaces, segregation, and men capturing the centre space is a male invention, a construct, which goes against nature and biology and is thus harmful. In the book Dangerous Wives and Sacred Sisters, Lynn Bennet explains very well how such valorization of male celibacy, which includes sadhu culture and monastic orders, are misogynistic. I try and fail to reproduce her logic clearly, so I suggest you read that book. But anyway, the point is, the crux of these ideas is that women are impure because they menstruate and they give birth. This hits at the centre of women's power which elevates them above men, and thus is harmful for women, and ultimately for everyone. Because ultimately women use that power to care for infants, children, and all of human society. That is why these celibate male-centric ideas which demean menstruation must be destroyed.

Is entering celibate male spaces harmful for women?

I find some truth in Sinu's idea that all-male spaces are ultimately harmful for women, but my idea is rather more convoluted than Sinu's. Sinu goes into a long description of the process of Pran Pratishtha, and says it is different from the western idea of consecration. According to Sinu, it is the process of Pran Pratishtha which fills a temple with a certain energy (Sinu doesn't like and use the word energy, but I cannot find a suitable alternative at the moment so I will go with energy), for example the temple of celibate male gods are filled with Moksha energy which directs the flow of life upwards which disrupt the downward flow of menstruation -- while the temples of worldly gods, especially goddesses related to menstruation, direct the flow of life downwards and end up regulating the blood flow of women.

I don't think it is the process of Pran Pratishtha itself which is so important. I think it is the consolidated belief of people in these ideas, which creates a certain energy and has physical manifestations. When a woman enters an all-male space which is focused on telling her that celibate males are pure and elevated and that she is impure because she menstruates, she has a very hard time defending her feminine powers. We know this to be true from our lived experience, where we have been unable to defend the power of feminine creation in the face of the whole of Hindu society telling us otherwise.

Eventually, over time, she will start believing they are right (again, we have seen this happen). This might have two consequences – either she starts believing the men and developing male characteristics, or her belief in her femininity becomes more subdued, more introverted. In this context I often think of a parallel - the first generation of women who forayed into professional spaces that used to be exclusively male. They ended up developing masculine personalities – wearing male clothes, cutting their hair in male styles, speaking in brusque manner, saying things like – ma 'aimai' hoina, 'aimai' jasto guff garera basdina, and all other kinds of random misogyny that men spout.

(In an aside, there is nothing wrong with wearing masculine clothes, sporting short hair, speaking brusquely and directly, if they are all women's choices. But, it is sad to see these changes forced upon the first generation of professional women, because they had to do these things to be respected by the misogynistic men around them. It is good to see that today, women with all kinds of personalities have forayed into all kinds of professions. And, there are a lot of things wrong with demeaning the lives of domestic women and deeming them sub-standard humans, which is what a lot of men do - especially in professional spaces. This is what women might start doing if they are in spaces heavily dominated by toxic masculine ideas -- differentiating between themselves and women who are merely homemakers, and women who spend extra time on grooming, clothes, makeup, etc, and relegating 'feminine' women to useless and second class. And it also changes their personality in so many other subtle ways - the masculine look is only the symptom (which, again, is not really a problem), the roots are in the way their thinking changes. Having worked in a space dominated by bullying men, I understand all these pressures first hand, the pressure to perform at par with men, the pressure to bully and defeat others in order to come out the winner, the pressure to demean people, especially women, who refuse to compete. It is very very hard to retain a general feminine personality which works towards cooperation and synergy rather than competition. All this is mind boggling and extremely stressful. Also, I'm sure all of us have heard of many instances where women in highly stressful environments, for example war zones which are heavily masculine, sometimes do not menstruate for months, so being in spaces dominated by patriarchal ideas and ways for long is very harmful for women. There are also several modern researches to tell us how having more women at the table reduces this kind of stress and opens up the environment to make it more accepting of all kinds of views. )

This also raises the question of whether there is a 'masculine' personality and a 'feminine' personality in nature, when the current idea is that all personalities are social constructs. This idea also needs unpacking, I believe. Yes, a lot of gender is socially constructed, but some of it is not. Sure, nature does not intend for women to wash dishes and clean up after men, and nature does not give men the monopoly over letters and offices. In all these things, men and women are equal, but then, women are more. Most women do menstruate and give birth in nature, and this gives extra 'feminine' dimensions of their personality, things we already talked about including nesting instinct, a general sense of purpose and synergy in life and the ability to visualize what is best for everyone. We have already talked about how women are nature's calendars and leaders. And if we look at the animal world or even the plant world, we see that males and females might have a wide range of personalities, but that their reproductive functions give them certain behaviours which form the core of these personalities. Denying that will get us nowhere. So I do believe that while men and women are equal and should be given equal opportunities, women are also something more, and that 'more' should be recognized, and all things cannot and should not be gender-neutral.

Sinu addresses these ideas by describing the 'feminine' powers, and nowadays there are many researches also which tell us how women are more intricately involved in life, and thus, have better vision and leadership that benefit everyone. These are indeed powers, feminine powers, and I do believe heavily male-dominated spaces drain these powers.

That long detour into professional spaces was just a parallel that I could think of, about how prolonged exposure to toxic masculine spaces are harmful for feminine energy. Going back to temple bans, I partially agree with Sinu's idea that continued exposure to all-male spaces which valorize male celibacy and demean women's reproductive functions is ultimately harmful to women. These messages may not just come through in clear words, but are also carried through in subtle gestures, tones, and overall humiliation of women, all of which together may have overwhelming, unseen psychological impacts. The impacts may or may not have clearly visible dimensions which I described in the professional world, but it surely has harmful mental, emotional and spiritual impacts for a woman to be told repetitively that her powers are nothing, and that she is impure. Most women I know simmer with anger and resentment and frustration over such maligning of their feminine powers. This causes long term harm to their mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. I guess the most visible impact is when women start believing in the celibate male ideology and believing they are impure, rather than believing in the ideology of Kamakhya and other goddesses who show them the power within themselves. Although I cannot imagine that a single exposure leads to immediate disruption of menstruation, or to the sprouting of facial hair like Sinu says, maybe such things can happen to women who are very sensitive to such vibes.

And this is actually the reason that such spaces and ideas must be destroyed, to be replaced by inclusive spaces. This is where I disagree with Sinu, who says the bans are for the women's good and must be respected. I believe such ideas and spaces must be gradually eroded and made more inclusive. The first generation of women who do so are going to have it tough, and they have all my sympathies. I say this having seen countless first generations of women in male professional circles, having seen their struggles from up close.

Let us remember that all-female spaces are not so harmful to men. In fact, all-female spaces are a man's dream, don't all men dream of harems? Haha. But even aside from the harem factor, if you imagine a man surrounded by a dozen women, whether they are lovers, or mothers, sisters, or just friends, you know that the man will be loved and taken care of. All female spaces imbue men with the knowledge of human life and make him more sensitive and more practical. Not so the opposite, where a woman surrounded by a dozen men will feel either constantly threatened or constantly overworked. Hence, the need to reduce all-male spaces.

The need for celibate male spaces

In another short detour, the total destruction of all-male spaces may not be totally inclusive because I am sure there are a small number of asexual men (and women and people of any sex) out there who belong with celibate male deities and these ideas. Also, I am sure, at some point in life, many of us feel a detachment/disillusionment from worldly ideas and activities, and seek some solace in these sterile ideas. For that reason, the celibate male deities should exist and cater to people who need them.

However, the problem here is that the celibate male deities, and associated ideas of celibacy, asexuality, distance from women, viewing women's bodies as impure because they menstruate, or as sinful because they are sexually attractive to men, are not limited to a few asexual men and women. But they are popular overall in our society, and form the basis of much misogyny. The problem is not that such spaces exist, which might be useful to some men at all times and to all men and women at some times, but the problem is that such spaces and ideas are deemed ideal for all men at all times, which comes at the cost of women.

Sinu says such temples and spaces are harmful to women, which I partially agree with, but she is missing the point that this is not how these spaces are marketed– they reinforce the opposite idea that women are harmful to such spaces and deities. No matter how much Sinu justifies it by saying that women should stay away from such spaces for their own good, it will only end up strengthening the opposite idea – that women are impure and sinful.

Let us remember again that the idea of Moksha, which Sinu says these temples promote and which implies a detachment from worldly activities, is also misogynistic. Again, read Dangerous Wives and Sacred Sisters for more explanation. Because detachment from worldly activities comes at the expense of women's lives, women's activities, and promotes an easy escape for men who want to escape household responsibilities. The fact that Moksha is the ultimate goal of mainstream Hinduism is misogynistic. This reminds me of the story of Sudhanwa and Prabhawati from Mahabharata, where Sudhanwa is bent on Moksha and in escaping the domestic life, but Prabhawati argues that vivek is greater than moksha and leads him into domestic life. The story is not very well known, but made a strong impression on me. The fact that such stories which emphasize life are lesser known than stories and ideas that emphasize escape is a sad thing.

So ultimately, I do not agree with Sinu when she justifies temple bans. I think, ultimately, women need to work to break down temple bans and the valorizing of celibate male deities. We can accord them their occasional due, but they are not to be idealized over and above feminine roles.

Justification of menstrual problems

As a woman who never faced extreme menstruations, perhaps it is from a position of privilege that I agree with Sinu's idea that menstruation is a gift. It would also perhaps be easy for me to imagine that there is no such thing as endometriosis or dysmenorrhea in nature. But then, I will not agree to it. Because I know of many women, friends and relatives, who face extreme menstruations, are laid down by severe bleeding and pain for at least one day, and some for up to seven days. I don't know if they will agree with Sinu's idea that menstruation is a gift. And I think they would find Sinu's idea – that there are no menstrual problems in nature, quite offensive!

The justification of Indra's curse

Perhaps the most laughable of justifications was her justification of Indra's curse. The famous curse that lays the foundations for misogyny in Hinduism. The story in Rigved, expanded in the Mahabharata and other scriptures, goes thus: Indra is stricken by the sin of Brahmahatya. He divides the sin into 4 parts and hands each part to different entities. What the 4 entities are varies in different stories, but in all stories there is one constant – woman. In women, the sin manifests as menstruation, and to compensate for this sin, he gives them a counter boon – that they will not lose sexual desire even during menstruation.

To me, it is obvious that this story lays the foundations of misogyny in Hinduism by labeling menstruation as a sin. This idea has been further expanded in this way (I don't know if Sinu did this or if the idea already exists) – menstruation is akin to the sin of Brahmahatya because it is hatya – it prevents life from forming. The egg is ready to bloom into life, but the woman prevents it by shedding the egg instead, hence she commits murder.

The idea is so ridiculous that I cannot even begin to sputter, but let me try. First of all, why don't we talk about the millions and millions of seeds that men waste through a lifetime when they, ahem, ejaculate without the possibility of it finding a home in a woman's womb? Shall we name all these men murderers them? And call them impure and unfit for any activity?

Haha, now that we put it this way, we can see how ridiculous the idea is. It is obvious that in nature, not all seeds are meant to become fruits. A large banyan tree, for example, produces thousands of seeds over its lifetime, but might produce less than one offspring every season. And then we ourselves consume so many seeds – all the grains and cereals and fruits and nuts we eat are seeds after all. If all seeds became fruits, the earth would be overwhelmed and the food cycle would be completely dysfunctional. So let us put this idea, that menstruation is sin because it prevents fruition, to rest here, and talk of the curse of Indra.

According to Sinu, the curse has been misinterpreted, and the accurate interpretation is this – menstruation is akin to sadhana. Men need to perform sadhana to attain its frutis, but for women, it is enough to menstruate. So what Indra gave is the boon of menstruation – the ability to perform sadhana and get its fruits naturally.

This seems most ridiculous to me. First of all, it is clear that Indra did not actually give women the ability to menstruate – they had it within themselves all along, ever since they were apes. Secondly, this ability to perform sadhana and get its fruits naturally – women have had it all along too, and that was the whole reason men had to invent other rituals, other spaces, to achieve what women could achieve naturally. Hence, what Indra did was actually take that away – remove the definition of menstruation as a gift that gives powers, and label it a sin instead.

I don't know where Sinu's convoluted interpretation comes from, but I do know that in subsequent and many other Hindu scriptures, a menstruating woman is described as becoming a different impure person every day – a Chandalini, a Shudrani, a Dhobini (this on the last day, associated with cleaning), and some other labels that I forgot now. Important texts such as Manu Smriti describe menstruation as 'impure', I cannot remember any positive descriptions of menstrual segregation as a time for women to rest, or menstruation as power, in Hindu texts (or maybe they are out there and I have not come across them.)

In any case, the attempt to justify this particular story makes me want to cry, because there is no justification to be found here. This story is the reason women lost their status in Hindu society.

Sinu has built her whole book on the idea of rural women's wisdom around menstruation – so far so good, but then ignores the fact that most Hindu texts are patriarchal. Including this text about Indra and his curse. If we as women find some worthy things in the practices of our Hindu foremothers, it does not mean that we have to accept the entirety of Hindu ideas which are heavily patriarchal.

Femininity versus feminism

Sinu takes the opportunity to berate feminism by saying that 'it operates from a narrow space which assumes that somebody has taken away women's power, which they need to take back,' and then goes on to say that women already have that power within themselves, the power of femininity, which nobody can take or give back. These assumptions about feminism are so laughably naïve in today's world that I don't know what to say. Of course, I agree that femininity – what it means to be a woman, especially a woman who has created life, is the greater power, the greatest power on earth. We have already talked about how women's innate femininity enables them to act as calendars, nurturers, the source of all knowledge that sustains life, and ultimately, leaders of society. However, in today's world, thousands of years of patriarchy has also held these powers captive, we have already talked about how women are forced to suppress their bodies, their natural intuitions, and wisdoms – and how that suppression is increasing as the world becomes more and more capitalist. And we women are in a captive position where we need to take back and reclaim those powers from the patriarchy.

Without feminist activism, how do you intend to realize these powers, for example let women rest for 4 days of menstruation, let their natural leadership abilities come through in to lead and guide families, communities, and nations, let women have opportunities for education and property, reduce their overburden of household work and care work? Even writing this book to uncover the hidden gifts of menstruation is an act of feminism.

And that ideal world, where societies and communities revolve around the cycle of women's creation? Forget it, we are not going to have it without thousands and thousands of concentrated acts of feminist activism, and even then, it may not be achievable. The kind of exercise of femininity that Sinu outlines in the book is not possible as an individual – or at least, not fully, until the whole society is on board. And today in this globalized world it means not just a particular community but the entire world, and that is a far, far, far-fetched dream not possible without collective feminist action. In a world led by Donald Trumps and Elon Musks, that dream is slipping farther and farther away.

Things I am ambiguous about

Ions and energy and all things vague

Sinu says women are at their most powerful during menstruation, and that their energy is so powerful that it takes energy from other people. This is how she justifies the ancient superstitions that menstruating women should not touch or even water plants, should not touch animals and any living things, and specifically, grown up men. She explains it by talking about ions and energy – something about how women have negative ions at this time, and that sucks the positive ions out of regular people.

This goes against everything I have been fighting all my life – the restrictions against touching living beings and other people. On the face of it, I want to reject the whole idea as laughable and ridiculous. And yet, I do not have enough knowledge about ions and energy to counter what Sinu says. And the example of silkworms was quite searing. The traditional knowledge that women in the fertile period should not be near silkworms, not because it is bad for silkworms, but because silkworms drained the fertility out of women – some women who lived in the same room with silkworms had menopause in their thirties, according to Sinu. I could find no proof of this online, but it made me think. I am sure there are things we don't understand, I just don't have the capacity to judge Sinu's ideas yet. Until then, I will continue to fight menstrual restrictions and continue to touch plants, animals, babies, men, and all other living beings. Besides, the idea that bleeding women should not touch newborns is ridiculous - the mother of the newborn is bleeding the most heavily!

What are we to do? Dual approach –

Is it ok for me to cherry pick some ideas from this book and throw out the rest? I think yes, until I have more proof. Or more faith.

So here are some of my ideas about how to go about the things Sinu discusses. As usual, when it comes to women, it is not enough to do one thing. It is necessary to do two opposite things at the same time.

Men and women are not equal, because they are not the same

The idea that men and women are equal comes from early feminists, and that was because they were greatly oppressed by thousands of years of unequal opportunities in education, income generation, and ownership of property. Sure, we need all these equal opportunities. And when we get them, we need to start taking steps for more. Or perhaps we need to take steps immediately, because it will be centuries before all women get equal rights, and if we start waiting for that point, we might be waiting forever.

Nature did not make men and women the same, and we need to acknowledge that. Men are interested in everything, and so are women. Men should have all opportunities, and so should women. Sure, we need to break gender constructs and have men do more housework, and respect women's lives and labours. But apart from all this, women are interested in more, women need more, from life, from the world. We can start by talking, just talking, about the role of menstruation and its phases in women's life, advocating for extra monthly leave for menstruating women, extra leave and resources for child raising, and more, much, much, more. Let me just stop here by saying that all things gender neutral is not a good idea and that the extra dimensions of women's lives that men are unaware of, should be more understood and more supported.

Let women rest during menstruation, but ensure women's dignity

We have talked about how women are nature's calendars, and in nature, women rest during and just before menstruation. We need to go back to that, give women the choice of resting before and during menstruation. This should be a choice, because sometimes women might have more urgent or important things to do, and may not want to rest. The ultimate thing is respecting women's agency and giving her the opportunity to rest if she wants to.

But at the same time, we need to ensure women's dignity by not restricting them from things and spaces they are banned from. For example, sources of water, household spaces, religious spaces, and the like. Banning women from all these things reinforce the shame and stigma that come with menstruation, and women should be free to go where they want, do what they want, during these times. If men want, they can stay away from these spaces.

Move away from the focus on creation, and yet, value women's knowledge of creation

We have talked about how toxic the focus on creation is – how it reduces the quality of life for women who cannot create or choose not to create, for members of the LGBTIQA+ community. And even for the average woman who wants to create at some point, this is toxic because it limits her in so many ways. I suppose that's also true of the average man. Hence, we need to stop being so focused on creation.

And yet, we need to remember that women have a special role in creation and nurture, and we need to value that knowledge. Without that knowledge, humankind is lost.

Sure, we need more men to be caring, nurturing, and we need more men to understand more of women's lives. But what is happening today in the capitalistic world is that in the name of understanding and participation, men dictate things to women. We certainly don't want men to be telling us what to eat, how to sit, how to give birth, how much to breastfeed, etc. Men's participation means that women lead, and men support them, not the other way around. Let us value the knowledge of creation that women gain from lived experience, and give it precedence over the knowledge that men and other people gain by observing or learning.

There should be few male-exclusive spaces, but there should be female-exclusive spaces and consolidation of female knowledge

On the face of it, this seems like gender discrimination. And it is. Discrimination is not always a bad thing. Men and women are different, and hence there should be different ways of life for them.

The consolidation of men's knowledge is everywhere, from books to media to houses which are all patriarchal. And, consolidated male energy is harmful to women, we have already talked about how the second grading of women's bodies, thoughts, lives are harmful to women and reinforce ideas about women's impurity and sinfulness. Hence, we should work to reduce all-male spaces and ideas as much as possible. We do not need any more consolidation of men's knowledge. But still it will happen, for thousands of years more, because of the way men have consolidated so much power. So we don't need to worry about whether that will lead to any kind of loss.

On the other hand, women's knowledge is scattered. Because women are picked up from their comfort zones and thrown into alien, often patriarchal spaces where they must compete for survival, women's knowledge is scattered and women's power is reduced. Which is what men want, but which is harmful not just to women but to everyone. Hence, consolidation of women's spaces and knowledge is essential and desirable.

Concluding notes

Overall, the book Rtu Vidya was thought provoking. I appreciate it for discussing menstruation at all, for showing how menstruation is a gift.

I disagree with her idea of eating only sweets before/during menstruation. She bases her ideas on rural women of India, and here in Nepal, it is common knowledge among all women that women in PMS desire tart, sour, and spicy food. Also during the early phases of pregnancy. If anyone tells me to eat sweets at this time, I might puke all over them. Hahahah. The craving is something of a beast, not to be explained away by logic or ayurvedic texts - which I'm sure were written by women. Let us follow rural women's practices here, if we have such cravings, and eat all the lapsi and the bhogate and the unripe mangoes at this time... And when the menstruation comes, we can follow Sinu's advice and eat simple, nourishing, madhu food like moong dal, coconut and jaggery...

And last but not the least, thank you Sinu for reminding us that the red tika that we put on during Dashain is meant to symbolize menstrual blood. Of course we know that we use red because red is the color of life and the color of blood. But what blood, actually, is the female power that we worship in our biggest festival? It is no other than menstrual blood, which is the power of women...